kathrynelise

Sat, 02 Aug 2008 19:53:14 GMT

i just got the new Sprint Instinct phone, and am completely in love with it!
I move out of this place tuesday, thank god. I'm so done with living here..

Sun, 27 Jul 2008 22:04:35 GMT

somehow i lost 3lbs just this week. thats a total of 9lbs lost this summer..
i'm starting to feel complete again.
time to go see dark knight. i hope it's as good as everyone is making it to be.

Thu, 19 Jun 2008 03:57:59 GMT

I'm a workaholic.

work.work.class.sleep. is my continuous cycle. i feel ten years older then my age. i need a vacation

Thu, 05 Jun 2008 04:40:28 GMT

Now i realize why as a child i always desired wealth and comfort. I'm a spoiled brat to say the least, but one thing that i can commend myself for is my ability to work. and work hard. I've taken two jobs this summer on top of my class (which i must get in A in, no lower, for my degree, which feels centuries away from obtaining) as well as satisfying the needs of friends, family and my boy. I have managed to create the most eclectic resume over the years which i hope will reward me in the near future. This time I will be working with mentally and physically disabled youths. I bit my tongue every time i think about it. I've never been so nervous for a summer job. I have always loved children more then anything, although the pay is never enough, but this time it will be different. I'm just not sure I am capable to take on something like this. He thinks it's wonderful, and honestly it's because it reminds him of his mother. But she is a better person then I am. She gives simply to give. I still am stubborn enough to expect something in return. I miss him. I miss living with him, waking up to him, him in general. Mariah was always right when she said that living together would give my perspective on relationships, love, sex, life in general a complete 180, it totally did. I've always been more reluctant then my friends, "no you test the waters first and tell me when it's time for me to get in." I don't regret anything. I think this is the first time I can honestly say that. We still see each other often. He took me out on his parents boat in Lee's Summit the other day. I used to cringe at the sight of suburbia; man-made, identical, uniform and unison. But, I hate to admit, that his secluded suburban neighborhood isn't half bad. (WHO AM I?!) It's nice missing him. I missed missing. It makes me feel young, and hopeful. I have something and someone to look forward to, to make plans with, to wait for. I never want to become stuck, that must be the most awful feeling in the world. I still have so much left to explore and learn about. I realize more and more each day how little I know and how much I want to gain (expect dress sizes.) I want to record every silly moment and story. I don' have time yet, but i will make room this coming year. I have a lot of other plans too. I need to lose that 10 lbs for example. If i continue to grow happier each year as I have been, then i will be the happiest girl in the world.

Wed, 07 May 2008 06:05:13 GMT

I'm writing a book, more like a collection of silly stories. Maybe I'll start posting? Otherwise finals are kicking my ass. I feel like as much as I try, I only ever reach the tip of success. I smell it, I taste it, but yet just can't grasp it. Oh well, B+'s are fine by me, at least for now. I'm moving back to Kansas City for the summer in exactly one week! How crazy this year has been. And it has gone by so fast. At least I got my job back and even a new part time one to keep me busy this summer. I'll be working at a camp for mentally disabled teenagers and young adults, kind of doing a group therapy session. Life is good, minus some sillyness that I fear I will never be able to escape! Oh the drama. okk laterr

Mon, 31 Mar 2008 02:50:51 GMT

I had an amazing week of delicious new foods, and shopping sprees at forever 21. I checked my checking account today, I have $283 to last me until May 15th. I really hope this works out okay..

Sat, 09 Feb 2008 01:31:07 GMT

my life these days..

Mon, 04 Feb 2008 06:46:28 GMT

in with the new, out with the old.

i got a new phone today, a new tote bag for my books, a new picture frame with a picture of us, a new shirt. classes are wonnnderrful. everything is superb. i think i have become a boring person because i am so happy. i may switch my major. is that the most interesting thing i can say for myself right now? we went to the roots concert this weekend, we smoked alot of weed this weekend, my friends came in to visit me this weekend. i am a happy girl this weekend. i am happy every weekend.

Thu, 24 Jan 2008 00:44:24 GMT

my diet is going super well. i have been eating a lot of green spinach with vinegrette and fruits and cottage cheese. i feel great actually. all five of my classes are going really well. i think i am going to minor in psych or double major with journalism, i can't quite decide yet. i have never been this in love before. thats all. oh and im totally listening to bright eyes old school right now lolz

Thu, 17 Jan 2008 22:13:19 GMT

only one more day! yayaya. i have been smoking way too much lately, time to cut back on the maryjane. i really hope i get a new camera for my birthday cus ive been craving some good ol picture taking. i guess i could bring out the nikd50 but i get nervous cus it cost so much. i am going to Ruth's Chris (my job) for a delicious steak dinner/birthday bash . i love free, expensive food. i have so much going on in my head and can't seem to sort it out. it all just keeps coming out in silly fragments and incoherant statements. time to go to the bar tonight. oH! and i cut off all my hair, seriously this time. it is to my collar bones, and im lovin it. One day i will get this right. i want to write something beautiful, i want to take a few pictures. but all in time. it seems that whenever i am uncontrollably happy i can never be creative. why is that. i used to make beautiful things.

currently (in love) jammin to:

the luckiest- ben folds
calling you- blue october
the way you make me feel- michael jackson
genius of love- tom tom club
hey- the pixies

peacelove.

Mon, 14 Jan 2008 03:00:47 GMT

SO much to say. but i can't quite say it. lets just say, i have been thinking a lot lately. 2008 is turning itself around and hopefully moving in the direction i always wanted. lovelovelove and it's time for me to buckle down again. i had too many vodka cranberrys at the bar last night. i miss waking up to my boy. i leave sat. can't wai.t

Sun, 06 Jan 2008 04:08:42 GMT

i know that it has only been five days into the new year. but i am hating it! i feel like i'm losing all of my friends and i don't understand why.

Sat, 05 Jan 2008 05:37:30 GMT

mariah and i are in a big, messy, ongoing fight as of late. i am tired. i am stuck. i am losing my bestfriend and roommate. i am ready to go home. 5 weeks was just too much. way to much. i am sad for the first time that i can remember.

Mon, 31 Dec 2007 20:20:35 GMT

i get to work tonight! hello 2008, no midnight kiss. let's get this over with!

Sat, 29 Dec 2007 22:22:33 GMT

barrett gave me a beautiful silver knot ring for christmas. i think its supposed to mean something, but he never really told me, but i like it better that way. besides, no boy has ever given me jewelry before. i guess i picked a good one this time around. on a bad note, as usual, i am the mishap of the family, the chronic dissapointment. to name a few, i've become quite the fatty, my grades are horrible, my boobs are huge, my money situation is shaky. i thought i would have turned everything around by now, but i guess some things will never change.

my new year's resolutions (which usually i am completly against or just never finalize but this time, i promise, swear, vow to fully complete)

1. lose 10 lbs; exercising daily, healthy diet, the whole shabang..
2. do not under any circumstances procrastinate! this is one of my worst flaws that needs to be changed ASAP!
3. 3.0-3.5 gpa; my current gpa does not reflect my intelligence, it is time to go to class and actually study
4. stop playing with my hair, it's annoying and childish and an old habit that is potentially ruining my hair
5. gain control of my temper
6. save more, spend less
7. one word: organization!

Mon, 17 Dec 2007 04:45:47 GMT

today is sunday, tonight should be the end to my "worst week of my life" which has been absolutly horrible up until about 20 minutes ago today from the previous sunday.

tommarow is monday. a new week. boy is coming to see me. we havent been together for two whole days, and im such a little baby because i cant even stand being without his company for a short period of time. i am going to exercise, have tons&tons of sex and start the week over, completly fresh.

i will, i must, and i am going to end this month and this year on a good note.

Sat, 15 Dec 2007 07:09:09 GMT

i'm almost positive that this has been the worst week of my life.

Wed, 12 Dec 2007 23:17:30 GMT

finals have left me frazzled, too much pills, venti lattes and words. this semester was my hardest, i did not live up to my abilities or expectations. i will never be one to excel, but i sure wish i could or would. but, there is no point in frets and frowns, so i'm keeping my head up.

i miss. i miss the city, and the feeling of being home during christmas. my brother saved my ornaments so that i can hang them myself. i want eggnog and whiskey with my mom. i want my dad to build a fire. i want to see the plaza lights. i want to see my grandparents, and just be in there presence, because they are the reason i live in such luxury and stability. i want everyone to see how incredibly happy and wonderful i am, because they have never witnessed my smile, one that is sincere and just speachless. there are no words, but pure bliss and lots of laughs inbetween. and i want them to get to know him, for he is part of the cause for all of this. overall, i am eager to return.

cold weather has kept me in hibernation mode. he is my personal furnace for the extra cold nights. i am in love. and i will say it over and over again. tommarow is my last final for the year, thank the lord!

walking home last night after an evening of studying/coffee overloads/silly discussions, i realized that 2007 has been my best year yet. and i'm not just saying that, i mean it. i mean it like i have ever meant something before.

Thu, 06 Dec 2007 23:06:02 GMT

today was the last day of classes for the year and the first snow in Columbia. I am enthralled, celebrating with sleeping in, major cuddle time with the boy, and mini sex and the city marathon.

i am in heaven. the end.

new hair

Sat, 01 Dec 2007 16:34:02 GMT

i cut my hair & love it!

Wed, 28 Nov 2007 19:25:16 GMT

its like being punched in the face. i saw it coming, kept waiting and waiting and finally it has happened. after a few drunken failures i know that he will not be the one to say anything. i deflated his words weeks ago, now it is my turn. i am completely, utterly, downright in love.

i've gained a few pounds, and it's killing me. everyone has noticed it, but myself, until now. it's hard to hate your body like i once did when i have someone constantly telling me how "absolutly perfect" i am. and i love it. but for my own good and happiness and health, it is time to seriously lose a few.

so less ice cream and more running for me. i see lots of love in the future and finally, finally i am becoming the person i have always wanted to be.

Tue, 20 Nov 2007 17:25:40 GMT

the leaves have become gold drops and my breath shows in night air. something has shifted, and everything will be on opposite ends from now on. this is my first time living with a significant other. my boy keeps me warm at night. his back on my belly, his boy breath on my cheek, his dirty blonde head next to my dark brown. only once had i kissed a blue-eye before you, never again will i find someone who i can get lost into.

we came home for the holidays, which means less sleepovers and more fatty foods. my smile has captured the whole of my face. its funny how everything and nothing has changed. my favorite bar burned down months before i left but has reopened. mother has been preparing the turkey for days. i cut all of my hair off yesterday- from nearly to my nipples, to the tip of my collerbone. i had almost forgotten how much i enjoy the holidays.

Mon, 08 Oct 2007 22:11:16 GMT

every once in a while i get really uncontrolably sad because my body remembers a time when pain was constant. and i hate myself for it cus i am the happiest person in this town. i have a boy in my bed and food in my belly (chipotle). and its freaking me out because i have never known this could happen to me.

Sun, 16 Sep 2007 18:12:24 GMT

-running on 4 hours of sleep is becoming my forte.
-Rilo Kiley the other night was pure bliss.
-my love triangle is becoming outrageous: M. sells me amazing nug, in which i sell to B., who i am completly infautuated with, who also happens to smoke up my ex, who is still completly in love with me
-B. has slept in my bed every day for the past week. i've never kissed a boy with blue eyes before. i see this becoming a potentially wonderful and healthy relationship.
-i am on a water,pizza and vodka cranberry diet. i keep promising myself that i'll get back on track, for example i am planning on being at the rec. center every day this week. but we shall see..
-my life is a series of lists right now, of what has been done, must be done, or i wish to do.

the truth is that i've never been so completly happy in every aspect of my life before, leaving my mind blank and my heart entirely full.

Tue, 04 Sep 2007 15:29:39 GMT

i ended it last night, with tears and awkward silences. and its done. i can't be held back anymore.i just can't wait anymore. i'm not the same person you used to know. i loved as much as i could ever love, and it was great really, but i'm not okay with routine and i'm unable to commit. i already had another boy sleep in my bed. and it was as innocent as it can be. even though i'm sure i have a problem with sleeping alone!.. i love how supportive all of my roommates have been. so much more but lately i can't even begin to place my thoughts.